so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize