u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
