I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
