All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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