We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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