My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
