Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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