His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
