Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
