she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
