idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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