Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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