plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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