Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize