I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
