Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
