He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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