apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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