It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
