Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
