Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
