i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
