He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
