There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sarcasm needs its own font
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
