i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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