...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
