Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
