butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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