some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
