This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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