I wish I only lived at night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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