I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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