My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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