its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
