Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
