So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
