i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
