I feel great
I just peed on a car
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize