True but thats because hes a fetus.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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