I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
