How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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