you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think my vagina is haunted
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
