We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
