Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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