I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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