great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize