Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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