What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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