Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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