no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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