Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
