if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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