i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
