She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
