Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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