so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize