My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
