Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
