I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dick very happy bro
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
