How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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