all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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