i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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