do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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