Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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